This is such a fun read! One of my favorite parts in this book is how Burns describes a technique called the shame attacking exercise. In short, you do something insane in public in order to deliberately make a fool of yourself and become immune to what other people think of you. In Plutarch's life of Cato, he describes Cato wearing ridiculous clothes around Rome for this same purpose! Here is an excerpt from this book about shame attacking exercises:
"I first learned about Shame Attacking Exercises following a workshop I presented for Dr. Ellis's institute in New york. After my presentation, I went out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant with several of his colleagues. It was a popular restaurant, and we had to wait in a long line to be seated. The line curled around inside the restaurant, so we were standing near people who were already eating.
I told one of Dr. Ellis's colleagues that I'd heard about Shame Attacking Exercises, but I didn't know exactly how they worked. He explained that you intentionally do something goofy in public so you can get over the fear of making a fool of yourself. He said that the only way to understand Shame Attacking Exercises was to try one yourself, and explained all the trainees at Dr. Ellis's institute had to do Shame Attacking Exercises as a part of their training.
I asked if he could give me an example of a Shame Attacking Exercise that he'd done. He said it would be even better for me simply to try one while we were standing in line; then i'd know exactly how they worked. I felt a bit uneasy and asked what he had in mind. He said I could walk up to the people at one of the tables and ask them if i could sample their food. This sounded totally bizarre, and a wave of panic gripped my heart. I kicked myself and wished I hadn't asked about Shame attacking Exercises!
However, I felt enormous social pressure from the group I was with. They al jumped in and said they all done Shame Attacking Exercises and that I should do one too. I could see that they weren't going to take no for an answer, so I reluctantly walked over to the table where six people were eating. THeir table was covered with a variety of tasty looking dishes. I commented on how great the food looked and asked if it tasted as good as it looked. They said it was terrific and told me they'd been coming to this restaurant for years. I was hoping they;d spontaneously offer to let me have a taste of one of the dishes, but that didn't happen.
I looked around nervously and noticed that all my colleagues were staring at me. This was my moment of truth! So i swallowed hard, pointed at one of the dishes and said, "i know this sounds incredibly eccentric, but i was wondering what that dish tastes like. I don't suppose you'd let me taste it, would you?"
They didn't seem at all perturbed and said "Sure@ Here, have some@" Much to my surprise they offered me a fork and encouraged me to taste the dish. I tasted it and said it was fabulous. Then they said, "try this one too. it's fantastic." so i tasted another dish, and it was also super. Suddenly all the people from the institute converged around the table and asked if they could try some too. The people at the table started giving all of us samples of their food with great enthusiasm. Soon we were all giggling and having a great time, even though we didn't know the people at the table. It was one of the highlights of my trip to new york.
This experience taught me that you dont always have to take yourself so seriously. most people appreciate a little goodwilled humor or eccentricity. People are bored and looking for something to spice up their day. If you act a little bit goofy, in a good natured way, most people will get a kick out of it. If you're naturally outgoing, this insight may seem trivial or obvious, but if your shy, this discovery can be mind blowing."
Wow. Wouldn't that have made a great college essay???